A bunch of mindless jerks who will be the first up against the wall when the revolution comes

Yesterday morning I found my email didn't work. I wasn't terribly surprised, it was fairly obvious that Comhem had screwed up the transfers of accounts due to my recent move, and I even had a fairly good guess about what the precise problem was.

So I call customer support. “Right now many are calling us, call back later.” Lather, rinse, repeat.

Eventually I get “You are placed in queue. You are now … number 43. For speeding up processing, please enter your customer number and press #.” I enter my customer number and press #. Then I fiddle with stuff for fifteen minutes while the queue is processed.

Finally a human voice responds. I explain my problem and what I want done about it. “Uhm, err, OK. What's your customer number?” The one I just entered for you, so processing could be speeded up by you not having to ask for it? I give my customer number. Possibly I do this through gritted teeth, because I have to repeat it a couple of times before it gets across properly.

Of course the person I speak to is unable to solve my problem but has to escalate it to someone who actually knows how to operate a computer, but they'll call back! “Do you have a number we can reach you at?” Yes, and it's in my customer records that would be in front of you if you hadn't been abandoned by your management and forced to use quill and papyrus as working tools. I give my number, with the mandatory repetitions.

Of course I do not receive a tracking number for my case, so now when I still have not been called back and still don't have working email, I'll have to explain it all from the beginning for the next customer support droid who will have no idea of any previous call from me…


ArchAsa said...

Oh, the many fond, FOND memories of the Comhem support... Those lovely hours spent with clueless people who know less about internet connections than even myself. With the standard response: "We think it's the cable line." which will givce them an additional 5 days to send a new one, which of course does nothing to solve the problem which we have already predicted, so that everything can start over again.

The repeated explanations are enough to make me consider major bodily harm towards any manager i can get my hands on.

The Comhem personal phone answering service is a torture method that would wet Cheney's lips:
[Robotic Female Voice]
"You have ... ONE ... new message"
"Do you want to listen to your new message?"
why else would I phone up you stupid b***?
"Recording of new message"
"Message sent ... 12.34 on thursday 27th"
"New message"
by now I am writhling on the floor with foam at my mouth
"Do you want to listen to your old messages?"

I would write about the 6 steps you have to go through in order to delete OLD messages on your phone, but your blog will run out of space...

thnidu said...

This anecdote sounds pretty pointed to me.