A cultural thing

Not being an alcohol drinker is one of those things that set you apart, others requiring you to explain yourself. (Eh, you purposely ingest an organic solvent that cripples mental and physical performance and you want me to explain myself?)

In many situations you don't even get to explain yourself, your alcohol consumption is just taken for granted. Air transport is one of those situations. In spite of it being common knowledge that alcohol consumption under low air pressure and high mental pressure increases its effects, not to mention makes Molotov cocktails easily accessible, alcohol is considered the solution to all problems:
“In honour of the National Day, we serve champagne to all passengers today.”
“We regret the six-hour delay at departure and in compensation offer free brandy to all passengers.”
“I'm terribly sorry about all the hassle with your seating, here, have a jynnantonix on the house.”
And when I decline the booze, am I then instead offered banana juice, Swiss chocolate or a tour of the cockpit? No, the offer is free alcohol and that alone and if I don't want that then I could just as well not exist. Suzanne Reuter's stewardess in Yrrol is taken directly from reality.

One would imagine that flight crews, who have to contend with air rage, which I dare to predict hardly ever is perpetrated by sober passengers, would want to do something about the serving of alcohol both on the ground and in the planes, but presumably they are just as culturally blind to even see its presence, people just magically get drunk and abusive.


Martin said...

I usually resort to the same one line in these situations:

"My friends tell me that given my behaviour when sober, it's a good thing that I don't drink".

kai said...

Yeah, the line I use is: “A real man can make a fool of himself even when sober.”

thnidu said...

I'd like a whisky and soda, without the whisky.

Christina said...

and if you're a woman (yes yes, I know you're not) the unavoidable question to follow is, aha! is it going to be a boy or a girl!!!??? (it's going to be a very tiny green marshy monster which I will prepare with honey and soy sauce and eat slightly grilled... )

kai said...

I was hoping for a bike, if it doesn't hurt too much?

Vakteln said...

Jag brukar använda den här bilden som argument. Det är alltså Anton och jag, de mest gedigna helnykterister jag känner. Bilden talar sitt tydliga språk, man vill inte veta vad som skulle ske om man tillsatte sprit till det där!